Feeling like I'm Dead and one of my stories are getting published

Sense 2008 when I died and by the grace of Christ, I was brought back to life, I have periods when I believe that I'm actually dead and walking.  It's a strange feeling and not a fun one.  I just tell people that I'm dead and don't matter.
I got a cat named Rusty from the local humane society.  It's a special cat and matches my dark soul.  We are both loners and need each other for support.
My job at Office of Affairs ended and I'm currently unemployed.  I'm thinking about going back to Luther as a dishwasher.   It's not what I want to do, it's what I need to do.  I need steady income and need to be busy.
I'm going to have a short story in Deadman's Tomb.  It will be posted October 12, 2016.
I'm working on more stories.
See you in the shadows of your nightmares.

Angels

I stopped going to church because I cough a lot and disturbs people around me.  Also because I see angels flying around the stage as the pastor talks to us.  I see them occasionally fly to the audience and use their hands to did into the souls of some of the audience.  That's right I see souls in the shape of auras.
It's something that occurred when I died in 2008, but yet I have a pulse and my blood flows in my veins.  In many ways I'm alive, but my soul is dead.  It's a black soul meaning death or dead.
Angels are brothers to demons, but angels remain loyal to God and Jesus. While demons are loyal to
the false one.  So far, in my life I have not seen a demon and I hope that I never will.
I might have to go to church to see the angels and hope that one will touch me and give my soul new life.

Music

I see notes as they come off the instruments and the singers' mouths.  It causes the listeners' auras to dance and mix with people next to them.  It's a sight to behold.  I can watch this interaction all day.  It beats staying at home by myself all day.

I don't know if other people can see what I can see.  I don't know if this makes me gifted or a freak.  I go beyond the physical and into the soul of a person.  I don't know why but a females' aura is brighter than a males.  Could it be because they are blessed by the greatest gift of all; giving birth of another human being.

I love looking and staring at auras and it gets me into trouble.  Some people think that I'm looking at their physical body, but in reality I'm  looking at their soul.  I still struggle in that explanation.

The View

I sit and look though the window to see birds, mostly  sparrows, feed at the seed feeder   My goal is to see hummingbirds though my window.

My other favorite view is the windows at Java Johns. I like to watch traffic  drive by.  I also  like to see people  walk by Java Johns.

Voices

Not only do I see things, but I hear voices.  I don't know if they are real, make believe or spiritual.  All I know is  sometimes they want me to kill myself.  They also told me that I was no good or other negative things.  I believe all of the negative voices came from my upbringing from my father to be exact.  My father always told me and made me feel that I was worthless.  He tried more than once to take me  out.  He even said, "I put you in this world and I'll take you out of this world."  I have many mental scars due to him.
I've learned over the years to turn the negative feedback into positive ones.  I'm reprogramming my mind for success.

Outside my Head

Sometimes I see things that's not there.  Like ghosts or other spirits.  Or should I say they are there, but they can't see them and I can.  I could always see shadow creatures.  They are scary creatures waiting to drain a person's soul.  Since I died in 2008, I can see auras and when I go to church I see angles flying around the stage and sitting area.