Christmas Bla

I know I should be golly on Christmas, for it's the jolliest time of the year.  To me it's not.  I don't spend the time with family, but spend it with my friends, which does take some of the sting away.

But I feel it's about the gifts, I work part-time and am disabled I barely make ends meet.  So purchasing gifts with all if the fixings, are just an expensive headache I don't need and can't afford, so I don't do it.

This year I bought one gift and am going to wrap it with the writer's gifting paper, newspaper.  When I was a teenager my mother bought me books, wrapped them in newspaper, and remind me to write my stories.

So look at my two Kindle books; It's Halloween and Halloween Delights  are for Christmas Eve and a day or two after Christmas

2018 is going to be a hug year for me in writing.  I plan to be publishing more in Kindle.  The Headless Ghostman one of my hottest sellers will be re-released next year along with Campfire Stories.  I haven't decided if I'm going to re-released Chattanooga Factory.  If I do publish, it would
be through Kindle.   Also my poetry book,  Live and Die will be done and publish.  I'm almost done know.  My problem is I keep write poem that I want to add to the book and am going to add poem that I wrote from my journal.

That's it from my darkness see you in the next year. Happy New Year.

Stories

I see stories of me starting a new job today and talking to a nice lady while she was having coffee with her meal.  Wiping tables, and chairs, booths lead me to new people; new opportunity.

Met a person who write stories like me.  He also like woodpeckers.

During the night more work, more people.  More experience.

When I got home, Orange Hope was waiting for me.  My little cat.  That keeps me alive.  Keeps me alive.  Makes me laugh.

Orange Hope keeps helps me to help me.

It's good to be working again.  Working keeps the voices down.  Soon they will be gone. 

Feeling like I'm Dead and one of my stories are getting published

Sense 2008 when I died and by the grace of Christ, I was brought back to life, I have periods when I believe that I'm actually dead and walking.  It's a strange feeling and not a fun one.  I just tell people that I'm dead and don't matter.
I got a cat named Rusty from the local humane society.  It's a special cat and matches my dark soul.  We are both loners and need each other for support.
My job at Office of Affairs ended and I'm currently unemployed.  I'm thinking about going back to Luther as a dishwasher.   It's not what I want to do, it's what I need to do.  I need steady income and need to be busy.
I'm going to have a short story in Deadman's Tomb.  It will be posted October 12, 2016.
I'm working on more stories.
See you in the shadows of your nightmares.

Angels

I stopped going to church because I cough a lot and disturbs people around me.  Also because I see angels flying around the stage as the pastor talks to us.  I see them occasionally fly to the audience and use their hands to did into the souls of some of the audience.  That's right I see souls in the shape of auras.
It's something that occurred when I died in 2008, but yet I have a pulse and my blood flows in my veins.  In many ways I'm alive, but my soul is dead.  It's a black soul meaning death or dead.
Angels are brothers to demons, but angels remain loyal to God and Jesus. While demons are loyal to
the false one.  So far, in my life I have not seen a demon and I hope that I never will.
I might have to go to church to see the angels and hope that one will touch me and give my soul new life.

Music

I see notes as they come off the instruments and the singers' mouths.  It causes the listeners' auras to dance and mix with people next to them.  It's a sight to behold.  I can watch this interaction all day.  It beats staying at home by myself all day.

I don't know if other people can see what I can see.  I don't know if this makes me gifted or a freak.  I go beyond the physical and into the soul of a person.  I don't know why but a females' aura is brighter than a males.  Could it be because they are blessed by the greatest gift of all; giving birth of another human being.

I love looking and staring at auras and it gets me into trouble.  Some people think that I'm looking at their physical body, but in reality I'm  looking at their soul.  I still struggle in that explanation.

The View

I sit and look though the window to see birds, mostly  sparrows, feed at the seed feeder   My goal is to see hummingbirds though my window.

My other favorite view is the windows at Java Johns. I like to watch traffic  drive by.  I also  like to see people  walk by Java Johns.

Voices

Not only do I see things, but I hear voices.  I don't know if they are real, make believe or spiritual.  All I know is  sometimes they want me to kill myself.  They also told me that I was no good or other negative things.  I believe all of the negative voices came from my upbringing from my father to be exact.  My father always told me and made me feel that I was worthless.  He tried more than once to take me  out.  He even said, "I put you in this world and I'll take you out of this world."  I have many mental scars due to him.
I've learned over the years to turn the negative feedback into positive ones.  I'm reprogramming my mind for success.